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| White Tulips in Bloom Catherine Al-Meten Meyers |
For quite some time, I was working toward some goals and planning for some changes. When we know what we want, it's often the case that life starts opening and closing all kinds of doors to make dreams come true. Whether this knowing is of a conscious kind or a deep inner certainty, we all know it when it happens. That straw that breaks the camel's back or the slight view of a possibility that we hadn't considered. So it is for us when we are paying attention to how our lives are progressing or not.
For over a year I worked to finish a novel, and had planned to get it ready to launch, right about now.
Instead the life I planned disapperared for the life that opened up before me.
As a result, I'm sitting here on the other side of four weeks or so of packing, sorting, and dreading a moved I was about to make. The onerous task of picking up every item I had and putting it somewhere, seemed too much. The wonderful thing was, I didn't have to do it alone. My friends and family all rallied to help me, and so it is that on this Thursday morning as I sit here watching the snow fly outside my clear, clean sliding glass doors, I have made the move. Before the move when people would ask me if I was excited, all I could think about was the high mountain of work before me. Now that I am on the other side of that mountain, I am excited to start fresh in my lovely new home.
First thing I did was set up a nice, comfortable living space. Boxes and furniture are stacked in the garage, and my office/studio is in a state of disarray, but my living space is neat and tidy and livable. This morning I went out to the garage and found music so I have music playing for the first time in ages. Not worrying about disturbing anyone because I'm not near enough anyone to disturb. What freedom that is. Starting anew allows for rethinking how we want to live or do something. In the case of a new home I can decide what goes where, and how my new office will be organized and decorated. For now, I'm just glad to have my living space back, wth some fine additions.
My new home is surrounded by trees and green. I thought I'd miss my river view, and I do but the green forest around me are so nourishing, and the river just beyond the trees that are outside my office window, is still within sight. And better yet, I am within walkng distance of the riverwalk. While going through the moving business, I have done most of my writing by hand on tablets and in notebooks. My internet connection is set up so now I feel like whatever needed to be done has been done and I can get back to work. Today is the day. No more running around, waiting for phone calls or people to show up. My time is mine again. With the exception of a pair of mittens which I keep forgetting to get, I have what I need and do not need to do any running around. In our area a bad weather day has been called for the storm that has been working its way into town, so everyone has more or less changed their plans.
Plans are ideas we get about how an event or activity should happen. For some people I guess that works pretty well. For me, plans generally turn out to be a great idea at the time, but one that bears little resemblance to what actually happens. I learned this over all the years of teaching and administering programs, events, and activities. And I've learned this as a writer, when writing different kinds of work. A plan is an outline of where you'd like to go...a set of expectations perhaps, but what shows up in the end may look quite different. And so starting anew in a new home, has become an adventure. An adventure which takes lots of work, requires quite a bit of help, and takes time.
When we make big changes in our lives, it causes a chain reaction of other alterations. We have to adjust and adapt to all kinds of things. After first resisting the change, I found myself on the floor in yoga in savasana realizing that maybe change would be a good thing. It would mean I'd have to go through my stuff, and figure out what I really needed and what could be better off going somewhere else. So the process of renewal for me, is going to be about doing more of that. A good friend who supported me in more ways than one during the move, suggested I get rid of some rugs and start over. I thought about it for a minute or two, and then realized how long I'd had them, and realized I could let them go. Other things that I've kept (a lot of it paperwork, odds and ends with special memories, and duplicates of things I no longer needed) were no longer something I had to hold onto. Rather than sorting as I packed, I saved that for now. Mainly just because I didn't have much time. Whatever way we sort through our stuff, it is a healthy way of clearing out parts of our lives that no longer need holding onto.
As I have been in this process, I've maintained contact with certain people who are instrumental in helping me rehink and reenvison possibilities. One good writer friend of mine sent me a suggestion for a magazine she thought I should submit an essay to, and it got me thinking about what I wanted to add to my writing goals now. This is a perfect time, while setting up my new office, to organize around the new goals I've got going on. I'm also setting up writing centers
Starting over also has some odd and unexpected consequences. My two cats have shown me how much parts of us resist change. There have been some challenging moments with them in this move. I've watched as they have slowly gotten familiar with a new place (sniffing every nook and cranny and stalking sounds and sights what were unfamiliar and frightening). I tend to make myself at home pretty easily, but also take my time getting to know new sounds, sights, and patterns. Learning to adjust to new ways and new parameters, new schedules and new kinds of needs...all part and parcel with starting anew. And then comes the quesion as I'm setting up, how do I fit my ways of doing and knowing with the new space, arrangement, and a new way of life?
I knew right away, to put my office/studio in the part of the house that was most closed off from the rest of my living. I knew to do this because I've set up my office/studios before. When I have limited space, I use the living space for everything that has nothing to do with work. In the past, I've slept with my feet up against the refrigerator in the living room so that I could use the bedroom as an office. Working at home, for me, requires setting clear prarameters between the work space and living. Even though I may write in other parts of the house, the equipment, desks, book cases tools, supplies, and work-related materials are set apart from where I relax, entertain, and live. During times when this was not the case (graduate school for example), my dining room table and coffee table were strewn with paperwork, computers, books, and well you get the picture. I prefer to keep the organizational things separate. We each have ways to set things up, and there were many times when the kitchen table was my desk. It still is where I prefer to meet and talk with clients. Finding what works for us at different times of our career and in different spaces, is essentially something left up to individual taste and preferences. When people question me about having my bed in the living room, I realize I do things differently from what others think is normal. My sister reminded me last night when I told her how things were arranged, "Oh you always like to have your office in the bedroom and bedroom somewhere else. You've done that a lot in the past." And so, she's right. Use your space for what works for you, not what it's supposed to be used for. No one's looking or checking. It's your choice. Be innovative and creative with your space.
One of my formative educational experiences was working with the ideas of Maria Montessori. Her ideas for the slum schools in Rome have become the essential guide for the Montessori system of education. One of the things I loved and still use are the learning centers. The adage, "A place for everything and everything in its place" appeals to my senses and my sense of order and discipline. And so much of my home is organized into centers for specific tasks. I'm not always very good at doing this, so I have friends and my sister who come into my home regularly to give me suggestions on how to do. I trust those who are capable of seeing space differently than I do. I'm always open to suggestions, and to trying new ways of organizing. For a time I tried storing everything out of sight.That method did not work for me. I need to see things so having a visual way to organized helps me. For others, hiding things away in files and drawers works better. Notice what works for you, and do more of that. Ask friends or your organizer buddies to give you some ideas.
For today, it feels good just to be able to sit down in front of the sliding glass doors, watching the snow fall, and writing from my day-bed couch. My blanket is wrapped around my feet, the fire in the fireplace warms the room, and the wind is blowing the huge pines and cedars that surround the grounds of my new home. Bit by bit I'm finding what I want to keep and what I can release so that someone else can use or remake into something of value. Renewing and beginning a new phase of life is a very special time when we can set our intentions in a very physical way. By consciously organizing and arranging our new spaces (time, space, or other form of energy), we align ourselves with purpose and are more likely to find meaningful ways to move forward. We bring the best of the past with us and we leave room in our space and time for allowing life to unfold in and around us.
At this time of the year we move from the past to the future, and it is a good time to be preparing ourselves, our homes, and our work for what lies ahead. A writer's life is one that is constantly allowing imagination, intuition, and memory to create new forms and pathways. Take some time to look around at how you are moving to renew yourself, your work, your home, your office, or some other aspect of your life, and enjoy what is opening up within and around you. Consider your daily schedule, your eating and sleeping patterns, exercise and leisure activities, and build in more of what makes you feel renewed. Let go of what is no longer nourishing or working for you. And enjoy spending some time expressing gratitude for all the bounty that is yours. Share some of that bounty, and breathe in the freedom of the life you have to live. We are so fortunate to have chosen our lives as writers, artists, musicians, and creative people. Blessed be the bounty. The turning points in our lives may be difficult, challenging, and exhausting. We may choose them or they may choose us, but beyond the threshold of the changes they bring, gifts await us. Gifts of renewal.
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