Today I'm sitting in a coffee shop in North Beach in San Francisco, working my way through a huge Greek Salad, and my second Cafe Au Lait of the day. As I reflect on the morning, I realize I've become my daughter. This morning I decided at the last minute to leave with my daughter and granddaughter, so I could spend more time with them as they started their days. Though I wasn't much motivated, it also got me started earlier than I would have if I'd stayed at the house. Just before I made this decision, I made myself a cup of tea. I realize now, I didn't even take sip of that tea, and I recall the years I would go into the kitchen to find a fully prepared cup of tea that my daughter had left on the counter--untouched. When we are committed to what we're doing, we move in the direction where we can best get to it. We might want to get to a piece of writing, or get to some research, or get to much-needed exercise. In doing so, we sometimes have to leave old ways, patterns and habits behind.
Whatever it is we want to move toward, requires that we move away from something else. This morning, that meant moving away from a day lounging in bed, watching a movie or two, and resting from the long travel day of yesterday. However, connection to two people who mean more to me than anyone else on the planet, moved me out of the inertia that might have taken me away from doing some pieces of work I really wanted to do.
For the last few weeks, I've been increasing the time I've spent doing yoga and meditation, and I was concerned about getting out of the groove while I'm staying in San Francisco. Needn't have worried about that because as it happens, I have lots of opportunities provided by my daughter. In fact, she's opening me to some other opportunities that I really need right now. One of the reasons I've tried to lighten up on my writing is because of the overdoing that has caused some pain in my writing hand. What I get to do while I'm here, is to attend a few yoga classes, a joint mobility class taught by my daughter, and a deep water aerobics class, also taught by my daughter. And so you're probably wondering when I'm ever going to get to the point, but believe me, there is a trail I'm following here, and this is it.
Whenever I am excited, enthused, motivated about life in general, three things happen. First of all, a part of me that has lain dormant, gets active. In my case, that means, my body/mind/spirit connection. When I begin my meditation class, I always mention that we bring 3 tools into each meditation: our bodies, our brains, and our breath. When we leave one or the other out of the equation, we miss the experience of having a whole experience. Sometimes people go into meditation with the goal to stop thinking. Our brains do not shut off, so it's a frustrating goal to have, and it really misses the point. Our brains are gifts in a meditation: it just depends on how we use our brains. Meditation can help us learn to channel and focus our minds, to pay attention to how our beliefs, values, ideas are congruent with our lives or not. A corollary to how the body/mind/spirit connections affect us is in our writing. When we write with no regard for our body, we may sit at the computer day after day, hour after hour, or use our hands to write without taking breaks. In the long run, we pay the painful and sometimes damaging price. We do the same thing with our breath. Breathing is vital to our health, and when we work with our breath instead of against it, we can use it to energize ourselves, expand our physical health and relieve us of all types of stress. Think about your breath right now, and notice whether or not you are holding your breath, breathing only into the upper part of your body, or actually sensing your breath and the path it takes throughout your body? Think about where you are, and what you are breathing in. When we got out of the car today to walk my granddaughter to her Hapkido class, she took a deep breath, and said, "It's good to get outside and get this fresh air." That's one of the reasons children love to go outside. They get energized by both movement and their breath. Maintaining a conscious, intentional practice of experiencing our body, mind, breath connection throughout the day and night, is one of the best practices we can develop to move us out of our inertia. It think about The Artist's Way author, Julia Cameron's urging her readers to take a daily walk, and about the author of If You Want To Write, Brenda Ueland, writing about taking a daily walk of 8 miles or so...she did this when she was in her 80s.
Right now the 80s are closer to me than they were when I was growing up and when I was developing some of my habits. The second thing that happens is that I notice or fail to notice how things have changed and I may or may not have changed or adapted to new circumstances. As a young person, I had no real sense of what being older would mean. I watched my grandparents and some older people's behavior and appearance, and wondered how I would ever get to that place. Now when I think and speak in terms of decades rather than years, I realize my own perspective, my body, my mind, my beliefs, my habits, patterns, and practices, may need to undergo a tune up, review, or new direction of course.
I've always viewed my life as a series of interlinking journeys...inner, outer, deeper, further, spiraling into different places, spaces, dimensions, roles, and connections. Expressing myself through a variety of ways, media, senses, manifestations, and expressions. These journeys are like concentric circles and spirals, sometimes centered in my own being, often centered and overlapping with others and places beyond me. In some ways and places, I have lived on the fringe. In others I have lived disconnected or connected. It's always been apparent to me that all humans are complicated, more than they may appear to be, and for the most part, we get to know each other only slightly less than we get to know ourselves. We all have perspectives that make it impossible to know ourselves completely, let alone really know and understand anyone else. But the amazing thing about many of us, is we keep trying. At this point in life, I feel myself moving and transforming into a wholly new identity...feeling the necessity of letting some things go in order to move into the next stage of life...toward what is most important and than is developing the messages and means of communicating those perceptions, images, and ideas about beauty, life, love, and the Sacred, and our beautiful and often painful journeys to fulfill our Divine Destiny.
Thought some people do, I really don't think most people walk around saying to themselves, "what am I doing to bring me closer to my Divine Destiny today?" however, whether we are conscious and aware or not,it seems we each seek something beyond ourselves, and it seems many of us feel called to express some truth of our being, the life we observe, or the actions we feel we want to encourage in others. Everyone on the planet is still, at this moment, capable of moving more intentionally toward some unfulfilled desire, dream, or destiny. As long as we are breathing, we can still choose to move beyond our inertia, and move more consciously toward connecting to others, creating or acting for the greater good of all, or allowing ourselves to be more appreciative of the gifts of life we still have.
So how do we know when the journey changes? I have discovered my own children and grandchildren are the voices that speak most clearly and directly to my heart. I hear from them what I cannot hear or understand in any other way. They give me the connection to the passage of time...unlike the connections and communication I get from friends, the reflecting mirrors of my own, call my attention to how I am perceived, and remind me of any part of my unfinished life I still need to pay attention to. My friends remind me of the healing and transformation I may have struggled through, and by design, what gifts and experiences have helped define me.
Regardless of how clear the messages are, the stillness of my heart and the depth and certainty I have of my own soul connections completes the trilogy that moves me. The third element that is so strong and necessary for keeping me moving beyond the inertia, fears, idleness, or stagnate perceptions is that intuitive knowing that comes from both within and without. It is the ineffable vastness and greatness of all that is, that moves me even when I have no desire to go forth. It is that which I cannot describe, but know without a doubt is that which guides, guards, directs, and impels me. The more I listen to the inner knowledge and attempt to understand the messages delivered to my doorstep, the less there is a disconnection of body/mind/spirit and the more there is congruence, serendipity, and peace alive on the journey.
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| Receiving the Light Catherine Al-Meten |
