While many of us writers think our blocks and lulls are caused by fear, I wonder if much of the procrastination, distraction, and crisis-detracting activities (like clearing clutter, escaping in search of rest or retreat, burying ourselves in the minutia of daily life or our best friend's latest crisis) isn't really about our desire to get it right? A new form of distraction has arisen over the last few years, and that has come in the form of blogs and online social networks (somewhat like this) filled with ideas on how to get it right. Despite the fact that many of us have already spent years on the job, proving ourselves experts in some field or another, perfecting our craft, and taking our first steps in declaring ourselves writers, we seem to think that someone else has the answer for us. The just right advice or suggestion, the just right program or class, or the just right book or webinar that will unlock the key to the magic of our writing career. We are willing to pay, not only financially but also in time and energy, to discover what someone else has found that we have overlooked.
This is not to say that there aren't some great ideas and good programs, books, classes full of the best advice in the world. What we need to determine for ourselves as freelance writers is this: Is being right about our writing and our career as a writer, about being right from the get go or are we missing the boat? For anyone who has ever been successful in academia, in a trade, in a role, or in anything at all, you will probably remember that you moved forward by taking risks, by looking for opportunities, by taking chances, and by following your best instincts. Think about the one thing in your life you are proud of. I would have to say, having a child was the big step that has changed my life. My decision was made in the dark of knowing almost nothing about what would make me a good mother or not. I had a good mother, and that was one thing going for me, though my mother and I were nothing alike. I have moved through various stages of mothering, and have learned as I've gone along. When I was determining whether or not to become a mother/to have a child, I was trying to figure out (ahead of time) how I'd be able to handle my child when she was a teenager. I recall this part of the decision because I was with my friend Lois at the beach. Lois was a good friend who was about 15 years older than I. She had suffered through the loss of her mother and two of her children who all had Cystic Fibrosis. When I was trying to figure out whether or not be become a mother, Lois was dealing with the loss and grief of two children lost to her before ever having the chance to live.
At the beach one day, as I was debating about being a mother, she turned to me and reminded me that, "You deal with a child one day at a time. You will have many years to get ready for what happens when they become teenagers." While I wasn't a very young mother, I was a very naive one. I knew nothing, at that point, about loss and grief, or about the mystery of life that makes it impossible for us to be prepared for what might happen in the future. None of us knows what lies ahead, but we do have control and power over what we do with the time and resources that lay before us today. Years have passed since that day on the beach, and my own relationship with my daughter and granddaughter remain key elements of what brings me fulfillment. However, I have learned in most areas of my life, I'm good at some things, not so good at others, and it is best for me if I put my energy into the areas I'm best prepared for, into the work that allows me to express my creativity and knowledge, and into the projects and goals that allow me to feel nourished, fulfilled, and successful. We measure success in our lives in truly personal ways, so I won't even attempt to define what that means to me.
What I do know is that I am a writer, and I am expressing myself through a wide variety of projects and in a diverse number of ways. My writing has established me as a writer, has earned for me, acknowledgement in my field of theology, in poetry, in journalism, in comparative religions and spirituality, in essays, and through my blogs. I blog about what I'm interested and knowledgeable about including, astrology and spirituality, writing and photography, history and narrative, and healing and psychological development.
