Being What You Are: Organizing a Creative Life

Crow Rising                                                                                                                Catherine Al-Meten Meyers

Some think the ideas of organizing and creating are mutually exclusive. Some may even look at the life of writers, artists, musicians, and other creative people and  think they 'do nothing' most of the time. I recall reading about how the hardworking fishermen of Monterey used to view author, John Steinbeck. They couldn't understand what he did all day, for all he did was watch them work, ask them about their work, or hang around town talking and watching other people.  For those who have a strictly structured lifestyle, like fishing in the days of the huge canneries and fishing fleets, being a writer or artist must have seemed a colossal waste of time.

Of course not all fishermen felt that way, but their initial impression was one of suspicion. And for other writers, musicians, and artists, I'm sure you've had your share of folks around who've wondered what you do all day or night. And don't get me started on those who give us lots of advice on how to 'do it right'.  My own sister warned me recently not to make my books too long so as to put off readers. Thanks Sis. She had not read my book, but because she had an opinion, I had to hear it. I'm used to hearing this kind of back handed dig from some, and often don't even pick up on it until late at night when I'm working out the day's conversations and I remember some small piece of a conversation that just didn't hit me right.

Artists, writers, musicians must grow what my Mother would call, 'a thick skin' to cope with all the well-meaning and some not-so-well-meaning advice we get. And then there is the blank stare when you are asked, what do you do? You answer, I write, and that pretty much ends the conversation. Unless it leads to an inquisition-like inquiry in just what you write, how you stack up to the 'real' writers, and how they believe they themselves always had what it took to write, but have never gotten around to it.  I'm sure musicians and artists have heard this a lot.  What does it take to do what it takes to be what you say your are?

At a family gathering recently, my cousin's wife, who I only see once in a blue moon, sidled up to me, and asked quietly, "What are you doing these days?"  My answer, "I'm writing." She actually knew that I had just published a book, and was so excited for me. I added that I was working on my second in the series, and she got even more excited, and said, "I knew you'd be working on something. That is so great." And it was so great that she seemed to understand and genuinely appreciate the effort it takes to complete a book. Now I might say, "Oh I shouldn't care what others say or think" but I'm not that selfless. I do care. And for years some of those who have been critical are the same ones who pushed me to "go ahead and do it."  Others never did understand why I would want to write, let alone follow my own lead by starting my own publishing company.

When I first started out committing my life to writing and working for myself, it was fairly uncommon. It was at a time when a lot of bloggers and zines were getting started. The internet provided a new way of communicating, a new pathway for writers.  I read one article about a woman who was running three businesses out of her home. All of them were successful, in terms of what she wanted them to be. I listened to what she had to say about how she organized her time and life, and how she made decisions, and she greatly influenced me. So I set out. First with a blog, Voices of Women's Wisdom in which I invited other women writers to write about their spiritual paths. Then I began writing columns for online newspapers and journals. At one point I was writing 6 columns, and 3 of my own blogs. Each blog had thousands of readers, and I got to write and get better at what I was doing.

Then I realized that a lot of the writing I'd done over the years had accumulated and was ready for being compiled and published. I started prioritizing my projects, and decided that I would take one or two big projects a year, and get them completed. Out of that came three books of poetry (the fourth Sea Change, will be published later this year), two books of inspiration, Elements of Tarot with a deck of cards designed by my artist friend, Tammy Heinz. and then the first of my fiction books, Body on the Beach. How did I do it? I used the skills I'd learned in all my years of academic study and teaching to organize my own work. The same skills we need for organizing, researching, and writing a thesis or dissertation, apply to just about any kind of project, especially writing projects. Also organizing courses helped me in the organization of work, identifying my audiences, and setting up my life so that the time, energy, effort, and dedication needed to get from point A to point Z is a commitment I could keep.

And so it went. For the last 10 years, that has been what I've done. And when I have those two big projects going, there are usually other commitments I have to keep up with too.  My other blogs (4 at the present), the marketing of books and photography, the business and organization, and all that goes into running a small press.  That's not including keeping my home and garden in shape, taking care of myself, my animals, and transportation. And that doesn't include the time I devote to being with my family.  I usually teach a class or two, and have pared that down to twice a month. Seeing clients in spiritual counseling and pastoral care. For what I've learned is that if I want to dedicate myself to the writing projects that I have started, I need to set my life up so that's what I do. And that means, I have to make some hard choices.

It's been kind of like seeing two bikes you like, and realizing after several failed attempts, cuts and bruises, that you can only ride one bike at a time. My writing life is now devoted to two series of fiction books. Each book of fiction takes about a year to do, and though it may get easier and require less time, I'm not going to push myself to become a one-woman writing mill. I'll write because I love it, and do the best I can, and keep myself on track to write one book in each series a year. I may continue writing my blogs, or may drop one or two when the time feels right. There is a life and death to everything, and I'm still in the birthing process of this new stage of my writing.

There are some other long-term, well-researched, and long awaited projects that need to be brought to completion too. Both need to be updated a bit, but will require a lot of energy, so I'm in the process of getting ready. Getting physically ready. Emotionally set, and centered on getting things in order to do this writing in the right way. To prepare, I've been giving myself time to rest, heal, exercise more, and regain a sense of my autonomy. While the longing to be a part of community and participate in all kinds of activities comes up more times than I can count, I'm really not at a point in my life where that is the direction I'll be taking.  Not that I'll be locking myself off from connections and involvement, but just that I won't be doing the organizing, planning, and setting up of all the kinds of things I've done in the past.

Now my dedication is to take each day, and create the atmosphere to feed my soul and provide me with the energy, inspiration, and focus I need to do my writing. And that will help me do what I do best, and that is enjoy the writing process. There's more to do getting your books on the market, but for now, that isn't going to be my primary focus. My main aim is to write. Diligently and constantly and to get things accomplished in that way. While I am taking time to organize a few book events, I'm mainly interested in seeing if I can get into a routine that feeds my soul and energizes my writing practice.

With that in mind, I've been reorganizing my home and office/studio, as well as my schedule. I've been adding some things (naps, solitary walks, time in coffee shops and walking around town) and limiting other things. Not because I don't like them or even love them, but because when I wake up early and start my day in a class of great yogis, I am lost for the rest of the day's work. I recently had a bout of vertigo, which brought my yoga practice to a screeching halt. It seems to have resolved itself now, so I'm beginning to start up a practice at home, to keep myself in shape and to return to a discipline that helps me focus and feel refreshed. For several weeks now, I've been discerning what it is that I want to do to help get myself into a routine.

Routines and breaking things into steps and patterns and phases, I have found, really helps me get very large projects accomplished. When I'm doing everything in a random, haphazard kind of way, I find it very hard to get anything done. And I'm big on completing things, so this is one skill I have worked hard to cultivate. It's probably no accident that I'm coming to this point during Virgo time.Virgo the great let's get things organized sign, speaks to my emotional well being. And so instead of rebelling against a regular routine, or calendar, I see how helpful they can be as guidelines for the journey ahead.

In Oregon, the highway department paints a white line on the outside of each outside lane (they may do this other places, but i've only noticed it here). I find these lines so helpful, especially on foggy nights, or when the rain is falling so hard you cannot see much of the road at all. Routines and schedules (provided you don't abide by the do-or-die motto), help provide guidelines not necessarily hard and fast rules. A good routine or set of procedures allow for a framework to help balance life.

With that in mind, when I noticed myself getting overly obsessed with working without breaks, not getting enough sleep, not having regular meals, and staying overly focused on cleaning or decluttering (yes you can do too much of that stuff), I realized, it was time to set up a routine. For those of us who work from home, it is essential. And it is also vital that we revisit whatever schedule we've used in the past to make sure we have adjusted it to fit with the now of our lives. At the start of summer, I wanted to do summery things. I made a point of weaving those things into my life. I read more. I planted a garden. I did some home decorating projects, and I got outside on the beaches more. I never got around to making jam (or at least not yet), because summer is also when I do art stuff. My preparation and participation in the annual Open Studio Tour took a lot of time and energy. For many summers are easier times; for me they are usually busier. Regardless, the seasons and focus of our lives are changing. For the children and grandchildren are back in their school year routines.

As I got all obsessed with my Granddaughter's new school year this week, and noticed how my teacher friends were headed back into the classroom, I recognized a need within me to get organized, but in a different way than most of those I know. I am fortunate to have chosen the life of a writer, and even very fortunate to have my little beach cottage where I am far enough away from where the action is that I am not constantly distracted (remember the squirrel in Over the Hedge?). Now that I have been in my new home the better part of a year, I'm settled, rested, and ready to get to work. Work for me includes time to exercise, have regular meals, and time to rest.  It requires freedom from a lot of outside commitments, and the freedom too to act spontaneously. Most of us probably have friends who do a lot of planning. Some people live their entire lives like that, and many have to because they have so much going on. It is however, the one thing I cannot do, nor do I want to do. Making a plan for a week from Monday, is just about like asking me what I want to be in my next life.

That's why I live alone, on my own, with not many outside obligations. And this is what feeds my soul. It's not for everyone, but it is definitely for me. And it is what I require to do what I  have chosen for my life path. Life paths change. From years of being "on" all the time, I have moved into a more solitary, quiet, contemplative way of living. So what does that look like this week? Went to sleep at my regular time last night. Woke up at 5:30,  and had my morning ritual of making tea, tending to cats, opening curtains and blinds, watching the birds and sunrise over the river, writing in my journal, and reading my morning readings and news. As I was writing in my journal, I recognized the urge that had been growing to get moving more.

So rather than just think about it, plan it for later, I got up, dressed, grabbed my camera, and headed out the door and up the street. I walked up the long driveway of the vacant house across the street, through the garden of the woman who used to live in that house. She died last fall. Her garden still has her spirit, and I always feel at peace when I cross her lawn and go out her back fence to climb the hill to the riverwalk. Today, I was almost the only one on the path. On the river though, were hundreds of small fishing boats, each with 2-3 fishers, silent on the morning river. Birds had begun their morning rounds, and the Sun was rising in the East behind a large bank of clouds that hung over the Columbia and the town of Astoria on the other side of the bridge.  Far up the trail I saw a couple and their big dog.  As our walks brought us nearer each other, I saw the dog was a friendly one, as were his owners. We greeted one another warmly, and kept going. I passed the houses with the beautiful gardens, and thought about planting the lavender my friend gave me. I also saw bright orange poppies growing in the rocks of the riverwalk, and remembered I had yet to break open the poppy seeds and sow them in the garden. I have an apple pie to make too.

Thoughts like this, were popping up. And I took photos with my camera and my phone, and enjoyed feeling the wind at my back as I walked east into the Sun, and then turned to feel the wind in my face as I walked all the long trail back home.  As I walked I saw my shadow, long and tall, the sun to my back making the shadows three times or more taller than I really am. And then I walked out at the end of the trail, made my way back up the street, checked to see if the red flag was up for the postman to pick up the letter I'd written my granddaughter yesterday. Her first day of middle school. And then I went back home where my cats were happy to see me. And where I could continue my routine.

Fixed breakfast, did the dishes, read the news, and then sat down to write another chapter. After that was done, I recognized that like writing, life is what we think it should be juxtaposed what it actually is. And when we are paying attention. When we are still and living in the present without worrying about where we should be or what so and so thinks about what, it really is quite okay. Even the hard things are more bearable, when we keep on taking care of the simple business of living. When we unburden ourselves from having to be the 'fixer' of every single thing 'in the next five minutes'. When we do the next best thing, honor our commitments, and when we don't leave ourselves out of the equation. We then honor the life we've been given, by appreciating what we're here to do.

The writing life is mine, because it's how I choose to live. It has grown through the years into how I find myself and how I allow my imagination to find a happy and enjoyable release. It is how I work out some of the tough issues, in a simplistic and fantastical way. Fiction is a way of finding meaning, by getting a different perspective. For many years my path was in search of healing,truth,  balance, and beauty to overcome the pain, sorrow, and sense of despair I felt for the world. This new path helps me cope, in a new way, and sets a little more order and discipline into my routines. But everything I'm doing is my choice, so it's not the life everyone would or could choose. I have little in the way of financial rewards but much in the way of blessings in the form of love, joy, connection, and fulfillment. Breathing easy, in harmony, writing away my life.