April Showers, Bring May Flowers...

After an infusion of Spring weather, lengthening days, and light energy that kick starts all our systems, today's storm throws us back under the covers of wintery weather.  Spring in the Pacific Northwest is full of surprises, not the least of which are the rapid shifts in weather, light, energy, and focus.  Waking earlier as the sun floods in the windows and invites us to get up and go, if you're like me, my work day starts earlier and earlier as spring progresses. Today the Sun shifts into Taurus, a grounding, peaceful place for me...a place where my emotional temperment settles into the cozy routines that my home office and studio allow.

Now that my computer issues are mostly solved, and my health is on an even keel again (rest, good nutrition, exercise, and creating less stress and more harmony did the trick), I resolved to begin finishing up some of the projects that have been at various stages of development.  One of my desires not only with my personal life but also with my work was to establish a more balanced approach to working.  How was I going to create more balance while using my time and energy more productively?  I made a list of all the projects that I was currently working on (long term projects, and daily/weekly assignments, photo shoots, research, and interviews/field work).  This moved the ideas, plans, and concerns out of my head onto a list that could be used to create a manageable schedule.

1. I prioritized the list, putting at the top of the list those projects most near completion and those assignments that were regular daily/weekly blogs or columns I write. Implicit in setting priorities was establishing priorities that directly related to the books, articles, and projects that I was most wanting to create.  Learning to put my own goals ahead of the expectations or work I often do for others, is sometimes a hard but necessary choice I have to make.  It is important for me to weigh the time, energy, and focus needed for an article that I write that benefits someone else if that time, energy, and focus takes away from a project that I value myself.  This process of discerning how to value my own work is crucial in establishing goals, guidelines, routines, and the overall commitment to the writing, photography, and counseling I choose to do. We may be able to do a lot of different things, but it is not always necessary or healthy to do everything. And we of course know it's not even possible. We have to make choices, set boundaries, and figure out what matters most to us. I'm learning to be picky about what I spend my time on.  This is crucial to using time wisely, I think.
2. I assigned different tasks to different days of the week.  For example, I assigned the larger, more time-consuming/difficult writing/editing jobs at the beginning of the week. I find that my best time for concentrated, uninterrupted work are mornings.  Generally, I write and do other major projects in the mornings, taking a break around 1:00.  I start my morning work after my early morning routine of preparing breakfast, doing my daily journal, and walking or doing yoga. 
3. When I take my break, I shower and dress, and head out for some fresh air. I head for my favorite coffee shop for a  Cafe au Lait, and a bowl of soup. I spend time with friends and read the local paper and do the crosswords.  
4. Afternoons are for more creative activities.  Often I take care of personal business, read, clear clutter and organize, and wander around the neighborhood.  This is a time for gardening or decorating. I often mat and frame photographs in the afternoons because the light is so good. Late afternoons are for photography and relaxation.  I enjoy cooking, and prepare food for myself, and sometimes invite friends over for dinner. Often the afternoon is a good time to work on websites or reorganize my office.  Afternoons are also the times I make business and personal appointments. 
5. Mid-week, I set aside at least a half a day for a photo shoot and a walk along the river, ocean, or local trails.  Given that we get a lot of rainy days here in Astoria, if the day starts out dry, I may rearrange my schedule to get out of the house and take advantage of the morning light for a  local photo shoot.  When travel is required, I may set aside a week or two to travel for photography and research projects. I plan this out ahead of time, setting my work calendar well in advance of seasonal changes and deadlines.
6. One day of the week I devote to writing blog articles. I may write articles for 4-6 weeks in advance. Another day is devoted strictly to writing columns or preparing a manuscript to meet a deadline.
7. I build in time daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly to rest, get proper nutrition, exercise, get together with family and friends, have fun, and just have down and alone time. I take the lessons I learned being in the academic work world and apply them to my life as a freelance writer, photographer, and intuitive counselor.  I keep to a routine (but maintain some flexibility within it). I plan ahead, so that I avoid putting myself under undue stress.  When I first started working from home again, I found myself edgy and nervous, pushing myself to accomplish too much and making myself feel upset and dissatisfied over what I was getting done.  I caught myself creating stress, and decided in order to eliminate some of that, I'd make a realistic, manageable schedule for myself.  Giving myself one-two main goals each day, frees me to focus more intently on the primary goals each day.  This frees my mind of worrying about when I was going to get other things done.  The priorities are set. The time is allotted for each project or task, and my mind is free to focus on the task at hand. Also building in breaks for food, exercise, water, socialization, and fresh air, force me to take better care of myself. I also stop working in the evenings (most of the time; tonight I'm inspired so I'm writing this after dark). I allow myself to read, watch a movie, listen to music and just relax at night.  I also have a relaxing bedtime routine, and I make certain I get plenty of sleep.  The spring energy sometimes makes me feel like the Energizer Bunny on Crack, so I have to build in calming activities (meditation, calming music, relaxing reading, herbal tea) before I go to sleep. 

Maintaining a routine helps me organize my time, use my energy, and get more accomplished than if I fly by the seat of my pants.  Working from a home office requires the discipline to stop working as much as it does to get to work.  At times in the past, I would work myself ragged, causing some physical problems and exhausting myself.  My academic career taught me a lot about how to organize my time and work, and how to break big projects down into bite-sized pieces. Whether teaching or administering programs, writing a dissertation or creating course outlines and syllabi for students, I learned to use my time and energy productively, and now I can use these same skills to create some of the projects that are bursting forth from me.  It is an exciting and fruitful time. 

Pier 39 Astoria, Oregon

The rains and spring blossoms of April, like the creative juices that are flowing within, are preparing me for a fruitful and productive season ahead. Preparing my whole self for the process of creativity and art, involves a steady and regular commitment to tending the garden of my own being with tender loving care.  As my friend Maria says, "Be gentle with yourself."  My Mother would say, "Take it easy; you'll live longer."  Enjoy being in your skin, and be grateful for whatever ideas spring from your heartful center.  Find ways to make your work more joyful, balanced, and enjoyable.  Appreciate what you accomplish, and be grateful for the opportunities, talents, gifts, and resources that fill your life. Keep your attention on these things, and you'll be less likely to notice what didn't get done.  Breathe and be glad.

Filling in the Silence

Friend and fellow writer, Cornelia Seigeur recently wrote an article reflecting on the mixed messages she found when attending a religious conference.  As I read her article, I thought of how often we toss out simple platitudes in our attempt to soothe, comfort, or express our comprehension for someone else’s pain, sorrow, or sadness.  In our efforts to express our comprehension of complex and difficult situations, we resort to simple, gratuitous expressions that often do more harm than good. At the conference, Cornelia mentioned two statements urging conference attendees to both “love yourself first,” while at the same time encouraging attendees to “give your all to others.”

Each statement has a kernel of truth to it. The problem with simple platitudes is they fail to take into account the wide range of experiences, needs, and human responses to them.  Our lives are full of challenges, complexities, and situations that call for something more than the black and white, absolutist thinking that treats life like a forced-choice test. You know the kind of frustrating forced response quiz given to determine preferences. Only life is not an either/or proposition in most cases.  Decisions and choices we make are affected by many factors. And most of our major choices require a certain amount of discernment and critical thinking.

Using the two expressions Cornelia refers to in her article, let’s look at the merit of each.  To love ourselves, meaning to acknowledge that we must take care of ourselves (body, mind, spirit, emotions) in order to fully participate in relationships, in order to develop as a human being, and in order to accept the whole of who we are.  For example, if I abuse my health through improper diet, lack of exercise, or addictive behaviors, my physical health and quality of life suffers. If I fail to take care of myself because I put my obligations to others first all the time, I will not have the energy, health, or time to develop independently. 

Giving to others requires that there is a “me,” a source of being, knowledge, and health from which to give.  None of us can afford to love only ourselves to the exclusion of all others any more than we can give up everyting that helps define who we are in order to be present to others. 

We humans require balance, and we live a kind of perfectly imperfect life of synthesis and interrelatedness. We live in the constant interplay of seeking harmony between the changes, choices, growth, transitions, and different needs of various stages of life...both our own lives and the lives of our relationships with our families, our friend, our work, and whatever other relationships define and fill our lives.

Life is full of change--it is dynamic and it is complex. What is, or seems to be easy for one person, may not be for another. We learn what we are capable of as we live, grow, change, develop, and become the person we are, at any stage in life. Despite our best laid plans, our spiritual and ethical guidelines, and our hopes, prayers, dreams and wishes, life is full of surprising twists and turns.

Life is also full of crucial moments when platitudes can do more harm than good. In moments when some of us think we must say something, we often pull out a platitude to fill in the silence of during an awkward moment or a jarring, traumatic time.  How often have you heard death bed platitudes pulled out to comfort a grieving friend or relative? “He’s in a better place, “ “She’s no longer suffering,” or even, “She lived a good, long life. It was her time.”  Comments like these meant to show compassion, but more often than not, dismissing or neutralizing genuine grief, loss, and sorrow, are anything but comforting.

We pull out platitudes for all kinds of occasions, and maybe it would be good to consider having a little more respect for others. Maybe we could show a little more compassion for someone else’s grief, by maintaining a respectful silence when we’re tempted to fill in  that silence with a platitude that quite frankly doesn’t begin to describe the reality of someone’s experience. We might think of how we can be of greater comfort and more help by stop trying to think we have to say something.  By taking just a little more time, a little more thought for the person and their loss or situation, we might be guided to express some genuine expression that touches on their loss, sorrow, challenge, or sadness. 

In the circle of life, we each are called upon to care for ourselves so that we can be present for and care for others, serve our communities, and accomplish what we were born to do.  We are also called upon to live with an appreciation for genuine and honest expressions from those people who fill our lives.  It behooves us all to live with an awareness of the power of the silence and reflection in moments when we might be tempted to pull out a platitude to fill in an awkward silence.  Silence offers the golden opportunity for us to reflect and connect to those we wish to comfort in ways that actually fill their needs.  Platitudes are bandied about because of the kernel of truth they may hold. They are not, however, a substitute for a thoughtful reflective  genuine expression of compassion that comes simply asking how we can support and not further injure someone who is suffering.

There seems to be a tendency for us humans to want simple, pithy solutions and expressions to sum up some very complex and difficult issues and problems.  I can't help but think that if we threw out some of the simplicity and pith, and instead spent some time thoughtfully considering how we could best meet another person's needs in times of difficulty, we might find ourselves living a more authentic, compassionate, and tolerant life with an awareness that no slogan, platitude or truism fits or works for every occasion or every person.  What are some of your experiences with platitudes and simple slogans? Have you been on the receiving end of a well-meant but totally off base expression of sorrow?

Coasting Along: A Writer's Journey: Winter on the River

Coasting Along: A Writer's Journey: Winter on the River: After two weeks of clear, crisp, sunny, Halcyon Days of Winter, 2012, winter weather seems to have settled in at the mouth of the River. Me...

Winter on the River

After two weeks of clear, crisp, sunny, Halcyon Days of Winter, 2012, winter weather seems to have settled in at the mouth of the River.  Met my friends at the Coffee Girl Cafe at noon, and shared some laughter, comforting and supportive conversations, and then headed home to install my new heater. By install, I mean, plug in.  The wall heater in my home is so noisy that not only can't I hear myself think when it's on, but I can't hear anyone or anything else. It's been like living with a jet engine. Besides the noise, it doesn't generate much heat. My friend loaned me a small, portable heater, that I can roll around between my living room and my office.  Haven't been so excited for ages about an appliance. For the first time in a very long time, I have time to take care of creature comforts; things I have often overlooked. Finally, I have time and am taking time to take care of personal business. 

The month of January was one of major changes in my life, and I find that what lies ahead is not what I had planned on doing this winter.  Due to health issues, I had to rethink my priorities, and make the choice to stop pushing in the areas of life that were no longer working for me.  We've all had those times when even events and decisions that have nothing to do with us directly, have an impact on our lives. For me, I was forced to make a decision that will have a profound effect on my life as a writer, photographer, and artist.  I had to resign from a job, and stay home for a few weeks in order to take care of my health.  As easy as it is to help other people make the same type of choices and transitions, it's not always easy to really listen to the messages the Universe was sending me (body, mind, spirit, dreams, intuition). I was fortunate, that I paid attention to the signs, and did not let myself get to the point where I had no choice.   Having counseled enough people for a long time, I too sought sound advice and heeded the suggestions of wise counsel.   For nearly five weeks, I have spoken only to my closest family and friends, and have spent much time by myself resting, reflecting, and allowing myself to heal.  Facing some of the issues that require me to change my way of living, I have spent much time reflecting and discerning the choices I had. One of the main decisions had to do with leaving teaching---a career that has sustained me for many years.

Once my decision was made, and I handed over my job to my replacement, I then began the hard work of processing my feelings and dealing with a new set of expectations.  At other times in my life, when I've finished a great big project (thesis, dissertation, deadline for a journal publication, or completion of a retreat, lecture, or workshop), I have taken a short break, and then immediately begun making new lists of what I wanted to do next.  Often a big project will energize me and fill me with ideas that I want to put into form.  I have learned that stages of my life as an artist and writer, are similar to being in a deep and long lasting marriage.  When the marriage moves to a new stage or ends, it takes a while to adjust to the changes.  New stages of a career or marriage are usually a matter of adjustments. Endings of either, require healing and recovery.  As I leave teaching after a 40+ year career, I turn my direction more deeply toward my writing and art.  Writing has been a big part of my life; part of and co-existent with my academic career. However, now, I have once again extricated myself from the role in order to come to wholeness on all levels.

No longer a young woman, I have chosen to put my energy and attention into my life as a writer and artist full time.  For the last year and a half, I reentered academia to teach a class~my favorite classes in comparative religions.  I loved my students. I loved the college where I taught and the wonderful people who teach and work there.  My classes were full, rich, and thoroughly enjoyable. It was some of the best teaching I have done.  Having started my own businesses in freelance writing, photography, and pastoral counseling over 7 years ago, I continued to run my own businesses along with commuting to and from Portland for the last 6 terms.  Then January, 2012 on the first day of school, I found myself sitting in front of two computer monitors, with a cell phone to one ear and the land line to the other, trying to trouble shoot a major problem with my laptop while getting ready to walk into a full class on the first day of the term.  I felt like a cartoon character.  My life at that point reminded me of an old cartoon I kept on my fridge for years.  The cartoon's first frame showed a character with wings tied to his back, getting way back off the edge of a cliff to give himself a running start to begin his ascent into the air to try his wings out.  In the cartoon's second frame, the character is shown collapsed on the ground just at the edge of the cliff, having exhausted himself before he even got to the take off point.  This cartoon made me laugh because it reminded me of a lesson I have learned over and over; it's important to recognize our limits and to pace ourselves so we don't run out of steam for that which really matters. When we exhaust ourselves in any way, we become ineffective in almost every way.

Writers and artists require health and balance; or at least this writer and artist does.  Knowing when to stop is crucial to my process as a writer and to my health as a human being.  Every stage of life, every role we take on, each responsibility has its lifespan.  Sometimes we are reminded of the span of life of a role or relationship because of what is decided for us.  We might be fired from a job or our job might be eliminated.  For some of us, our jobs have become obsolete or they no longer fit with our stage of life or well-being.  I thought of my work as an instructor as you might that of an athlete.  An athlete has a limited number of years when she/he is at their optimal level of performance.  No one can tell what that level is, and there are certainly many good athletes that go beyond the normal age of retirement, just as there are many great professors who teach their entire lives. I have no doubt that I am an excellent professor. The problem for me is that, I'm a writer and artist who has no idea what my limits are for I have not yet begun to fly.  I've written a great deal. I am a professional who does good and even excellent work. What I haven't done yet is bring my writing into full fruition.  It has been squeezed in between, worked on with the excess fuel, time, and resources after my other obligations have been taken care of.  As a writer and artist, I give myself permission to take the time, nourishment, space, fullness of life that I need for optimum health. 

When I was a young girl and woman, my mother used the analogy of burning the candle at both ends to describe my lifestyle.  I have always pursued my dreams, taken risks, made major moves, dared to dream, and done what others said was impossible. I have been a devoted wife, mother, daughter, teacher, friend, and colleague.  I have  lived life with vision, belief, and the strong desire to allow my energy to branch out into the different streams that caught my interests and focus.  Maybe it has something to do with being the eldest daughter and granddaughter. Maybe is has something to do with being a woman with drive and intellect at a time when women had to prove themselves at every turn. Maybe it had something to do with my zest for life, creative spirit, and deep longing and call to live out my purpose. Whatever it has been, teaching, education, and teaching teachers to teach has been a huge piece of my life.  Now, it is time to step out of the main role, out of the spot light that teaching demands, in order to move more fully into my own life~the writing and artist's life.

For the past month and a half, I have been standing at a threshold, thinking the pathway would lead in one direction, and then realizing, the road was leading in an entirely new direction.  One thing I have learned is that life does not turn out as you think it will. It is vital to make plans. It's good to have ideas about what you want and how you'd like to move toward your dreams and goals, but the truly beautiful truth about life is that it is so much more exciting, interesting, surprising, and rewarding than we could possibly imagine.

While I have a strong sense of how we have the capacity to create, make things happen, and choose, I have an even deeper and stronger knowledge of the power of the Divine Creative Spirit that infuses all of life with unique gifts, roles, opportunities, and challenges. Regardless of our plans, life opens before us in mysterious and unpredictable ways. Whether we expect it or plan for it, the movements, desires, and dreams of others work on the deep and mystical threads of destiny unfolding within us, between us, and around us, in the lives that we are gifted to be living right now, here where we are.  So I cast my fate to the winds, with the trust, faith, and knowledge that what I am meant to do and be will surely manifest.  I am in the presence of Creator Spirit with the support of the ancestors in the communion of the saints. I am loved and I love, and am gifted with a good and loving family and devoted and loving friends.

I have learned to pay attention to the intuitive knowledge that is ever present. When  I am willing to pay attention to my instincts, thoughts, dreams, visions, and understanding, I learn much and receive many blessings.   I have learned to pay attention and respond to everything going on around me, and to rely on Divine Truth to manifest in ways that, even if I do not understand.  Because I believe there is something greater even than the human spirit, I look for signs that point the way toward that which is calling for my attention.  Just as writers and artists, musicians and actors have learned to listen to the muse that calls them to a spark of the divine and warns them away from that which no longer nourishes or connects, I have learned to allow the life I am living to fill me with what I need to create and live more fully. To serve and support those whom I love, and to pull my spirit back from the places where I am trapped, frozen, or caught up in some form of negativity (anger, fear, worry, regret, doubt).  For now, my focus is on the immediate awareness of the Breath of Life, the Spirit of the Divine, that keeps me breathing in and out, that fills me with delight, joy, gratitude, love, and creativity.  My writing life is fueled by an awareness of life that requires space, time, and attention.  As I sit on the opposite shore of the river, I look out to the past as a woman who has grown and been given the gifts that have been fostered, nurtured, and shared with students and other educators for many years, indeed decades. I feel full, satisfied, and grateful, and I pass through the gateway of tomorrow with a richness of living to use in my writing and art.  I take what I have learned with me, to fuel the fires of creativity to come.

Reflections of 2011:

As the year is drawing to a close, I have been  going through journals, cleaning out closets and files, and realizing what a good year it has been. As many writers do, I read a lot this year. I read as if I had been starving, devouring one book after another.  I read a lot of fiction and also read a lot of inspirational books. Reading through the pages of one of my pocket journals, I found a list I had made about types of clutter. focused on household clutter. This article focuses both on household clutter and clutter specific to artists and writers.

I read Gretchen Ruben's The Happiness Project, and was impressed by her ideas about the different kinds of clutter that take up space in our lives.  Ruben categorized clutter into the following categories:

1. Nostalgic clutter-Knick knacks, old clothes, letters, and the like. If you're like me, much of what I have in boxes, drawers, and on shelves, are bits of nostalgic stuff. Some nostalgia is probably just fine, but when my mug collection grew out of proportion, I realized it was time to give some away. Releasing nostalgia also helps us release the energy attached to people, places, and times that are from our past. If we need to hang onto it for some reason, as I do items connected to my Mother or my Daughter, it's a good idea to be  aware of what it is you are holding onto.  If, for example, the nostalgia is really connected to guilt or sadness, it might be a good idea to consider letting it go. Nostalgia clutter for writers and artists may include partial plans or thoughts about a project that really enlivened you ten years ago, but has somehow lost its thrust and importance. It may be good to acknowledge the ideas, plans, or projects that are no longer alive. Burn the plans, and let it go, knowing if it was meant to be, it will rise from the ashes in the future. For now, releasing an outworn idea lets the energy flow more freely into current projects and ideas.  Many writers and artists have burned pages of manuscripts, painted over works of art, or cast aside projects that just never got their wings.  If you're uncertain about how good you might feel letting a project go, try it on a small scale, and work up to the more energy-consuming ideas that you're hanging onto.

2. Conservation clutter-While the phrase, "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle," may be a familiar refrain, I still tend to amass certain items thinking I'm the one who has to use the 25 empty glass jars, or 30 canvas bags.  My daughter rightly calls me the bag lady because of all the canvas bags I have.  I now have started giving them away when I donate clothes to the thrift shop or food to the food bank.  As for the glass jars, I do store dry goods (beans, rice, cereal, spices) in glass jars. I also do some canning, but I limit the number I keep on hand to one shelf in my pantry.  I've recycle coat hangers, limiting my closet to a few extra, and I donate my paper bags to my cousin's clothes bank and use my plastic sacks for garbage.    A good rule of thumb: If I haven't used something in the last two years, I'm probably going to be able to live without it. I've learned to let go of packing boxes; I now keep them in circulation. Last week I gave my last few boxes away to a neighbor who is moving.  Not only did I get rid of some nostalgia clutter that was in the boxes, I got rid of the boxes and now have empty shelf space.
Writers and artists often save every scrap of writing, notes, sketches, photographs, research, and note cards from every project they've ever worked on it seems. I know this is something I do. When I started using a computer, I not only saved hard copies of everything, I also saved electronic copies and copies of copies (it's so easy to duplicate on a computer). Recalling the tediousness of typing on a manual typewriter, having to start over if I made a mistake because there was no erasable paper of white out (not as archaic as the manual typewriter), and having to worry about losing my only copy of a paper or manuscript, led to my tendency to make more duplicates than I'll ever need. Right now with my photography, I am busily cleaning clutter from my files; admitting which shots are worth keeping and deleting the rest. It is an act of courage to let go of some of the clutter we keep that is attached to our art. Also cleaning out files on my computer hard drive.  It's important for creative people to admit that not every idea is a good idea, and not everything we create will stand the test of time. This is especially true for photography where I take maybe 100 photos for every truly good photograph I take. And that may be a generous estimate.
3. Bargain clutter: Hopefully, you're not a fool for a bargain.  It's no bargain if you have no earthly use for it.  Safeway is a giant trap of 10 for $10...but who needs 10 tubes of tooth paste or 10 cans of beans soaked in brine?  Be smart about bargains, and avoid filling your cupboards and garage with items you don't really need or use.  The bargains that writers and artists get seem to come via the electronic media often.  Newsletters, or bargain workshops to increase your skills as a writer or improve your marketing capacity.  Coupons from the stationery stores with offers of 50% off if you only spend $75.  Now if you need paper and office supplies, this might be a great deal. If you don't, it's no bargain, and you probably don't have room for more of anything in your office anyway. Trust me, there will be a sale or an offer or a workshop when you need one or are ready to take one.  The urgency we seem to feel about bargains, is fed by a sense of lack and may be something you want to consider when feeling impelled to take advantage of a bargain next time.
4.Freebie clutter:  My favorite!  It's free. I need it!  No, I don't. I came home from a conference recently with, you guessed it, more canvas bags. Cheap magnets, key chains, pens, water bottles, and other junk do not need to come home with you.  Just because something is free doesn't mean I need it or will every use it.  So I say "no" to freebies.  I think it's part of being mindful, and just not automatically saying "yes" when it would be better for me and the environment if I said "no thank you".  Freebies online can clutter your computer hard drive and your mind.  They also take up space and  time.  The free online newsletters, blog postings, and offers of free virtual classes, can be appealing, but rarely are worth the kind of time it would take if you responded to each one.  I've found myself being very selective about what kinds of regular postings I sign up for.  Writers and artists who tell me they have 345 emails to go through every day....well the thought gives me a headache.  I whittle down the number of messages that I'm willing to receive, and regularly go through and sort out the online subscriptions and lists I've gotten on.  Don't get me wrong, there are some really good blogs and newsletters, and I generally trust my cadre of fellow writers and artists to recommend some of the better ones. C.Hope Clarke, for example, a writer who maintains a blog to help other writers, sends a weekly newsletter that I just can't wait to read.  My suggestion would be to be selective and to regularly weed out those items that take up too much time and space in your life. It's like watching too much television....it becomes a distraction from your real work.
5. Crutch clutter.  When I got in the car to move back to Oregon, my daughter gave me the Boot I had from breaking my ankle, saying, "Just in case you need this."  So the Boot  traveled with me for a few months, until I recycled it. My thought was, I'm not going to carry this around just in case I break my ankle again.  I don't want to be attached to that thought. Thoughts can be crutches too, and some of the worst energy sappers.  I recall when my father was rehabbing from an illness, and the different medical people responsible for making decisions for him, kept making decisions based on the idea that "he might fall."  Not being one to give up, I kept on talking to doctors and social workers until I found a wise man, a doctor, who said, "Everyone falls. You can't base all your decisions on the possibility of falling."  This belief freed my father from being stuck in between a nursing facility and a rehab facility where he could get stronger and eventually go home and continue taking care of himself.  Our beliefs can be some of the most powerful crutches, keeping us trapped in mindsets that slow, impede or stop our creativity.  Some people have a favorite sweater or shirt, socks or hat that they wear until it falls off of them.  Or we keep something we needed at one point of our lives, but no longer use. Electronic stuff has become a kind of crutch clutter. I used to hang onto floppy discs, and old computers and keyboards "just in case."  Crutch clutter generally has to do with the feeling that we might need something or that by hanging onto some object or piece of apparel, we somehow keep connected to a person or a time in the past.  If you want to stay connected to the time or that person, at least be aware of the energy the connection is holding. Clutter is an energy drain, an  unconscious attachment to things, ways of doing, or way of being.  Our habits and patterns are often tied to stuff that keeps us connected energetically to outworn habits, behavior, relationships, and patterns.

Artists and writers have crutches too.  Maybe it's coffee, or maybe it's a worn out piece of equipment or a chair that doesn't support you or your back.   Whatever crutch you use that is no longer serving you, consider why you continue to keep it or keep doing it, and then consider how you might let go of it.  For example, sometimes our craft becomes a crutch for avoiding a balanced life.  We overwork, overdo, or overextend ourselves without realizing we have fallen into unhealthy habits.  Not taking adequate breaks when we're working, not eating, resting, or exercising properly, or overindulging all
can be crutch habits.  Or we use the chaos of our lives, relationships, or financial situations as excuses and distractions for not maintaining a regular work discipline and practice.  Whatever you do that becomes a crutch--meaning you believe you can't operate without it-- needs to be addressed in order to maintain  higher levels of health, productivity, and creativity.  
6. Aspirational clutter:  Here's a favorite of mine.  I have two racquetball racquets in my closet taking up space until I find a partner and a racquet ball court. It's probably been 20 years since I've played, but I have the racquets. Hobby stuff can be aspirational clutter. Boxes of fabric, beads, or scrap book material, yarn, crochet patterns, old clothes you planned to make a rag rug with (yes, I have plans to make my own rag rug some day....); a lot of aspirational clutter. We think we'd like to take up a hobby or pastime. We buy all the ingredients, equipment, and paraphenalia, and never really get around to doing anything with it.  You might want to reexamine your aspirational clutter, and give some of it away to an organization that might actually use it.  Teachers, parks and recreation departments, shelters for women and children, or even assisted living facilities might have a use for some of the perfectly good stuff you have. For artists and writers, aspiration clutter may include projects, ideas, pieces of writing that take up a lot of mental energy but somehow never get off the drawing board.  At some point, it might help to prioritize all your projects to see what matters most and what could be let go. When I make out a list of projects I'm working on and the list entails enough work to last 5 lifetimes, I know I need to get real about what matters most.  This time of the year is a perfect time to write down your priorities, and project the kinds of time, resources, and commitment you'd like to make for the top priority projects in the next year or two. This will make you more efficient, free your mental and physical energy, and allow you to focus more fully on what you are doing and creating.
7.Buyer's remorse clutter:  How about that kelly green mohair jumper or the too big or too small outfit hanging in the back of your closet? You know what I mean. That outfit you bought in a fit of insanity, or the appliance you got talked into "needing" by a slick salesperson?  It's happened to all of us. We get something that we buy when our hormones are raging or when we're desperate to spend the money we have.  Either take it back if you can, sell it at a garage sale,  put it on ebay or Craig's list, or, if a else fails, donate it. Let it go. Last fall when I had a little extra money, I got talked into signing up and paying for an online service I neither needed nor wanted.  I must have been at a weak ego level, because the saleswoman used the deadly duo, flattery and guilt, to get my money.  When the glitzy packet arrived, and I saw whose company it was that I had paid my hard-earned cash, I felt ridiculous. I realized I had made a big and costly mistake.  There was no way I was going to recoup my losses, so I have accepted the fact that this is a loss and a lesson for me.  Some things really are too good to be true, and sometimes, I can fall for a sales pitch I would never have imagined I could.  Admitting it here, doesn't take  the sting of the loss away nor does it help me answer the question, How could I let this happen?"  You may be able to tell, that this kind of mindset ties up energy and time, and unless there is some recourse, it better put to rest.  Let it be a lesson learned. It's taken up enough of my money and other energy, so letting go of the feelings that come with making bad choices, can be relieving if we recognize how this interferes with and affects our lives.

So why does it matter that we classify our clutter? Clutter takes up space not only in our homes, garages, cars, and offices, but also in our minds and personal energy.  Clutter blocks our flow of energy, and more importantly, I believe, clutters our minds and physical body with connections to what is no longer part of our lives now.  At the very least, every time you walk by and notice a piece of clutter, it takes your attention and focus away from more interesting and present matters. At its worst, different types of clutter make it difficult for us to get free of unwanted, outworn, and dead energy connections.  As you get ready to turn the page on a new year, consider letting go of some of the clutter in your life so you start the new year with more energy and focus to do what really gives you life. Clutter is as much a state of mind as it is a physical phenomenon.  For artists and writers, clutter of all types, blocks creativity, inspiration, productivity, and physical/mental/emotional energy.  Assess your clutter as you end the year, and start the new year off by being more mindful of where clutter is and how you can release energy blocks by removing some of the clutter from your life.

As I conclude this article, am thinking about a conversation I had recently with a local businessman. We had been talking about credibility and identity.  I started to questions whether or not I had done enough to establish myself in a particular area. He looked at me, and said, you have already established yourself; now it's time to produce.  I realized in that moment that one of the crutches I've kept with me for many years is the idea that many women have, and that is, "I've never quite done enough or whatever I do, I could be a little more prepared or educated or practiced..." yada, yada ,yada, And then it hit me how much our perfectionist beliefs clutter up our thinking and our lives, keeping us from creating and taking risks and doing something.  Instead, that clutter keeps us sitting our hands and holding in our dreams, imaginations, and art. Time to let that kind of thinking go....Out with the old, in with the new.  Happy end to 2011, and start to 2012!

Along the Misty River        Catherine Al-Meten

             

At the Threshold: Another Stop along the Journey

Life as a writer has changed so much over the span of my life. Learning to read and write as a child, I also was blessed to have a Mother who read to us every night, taught us to sing, play, and read music, encouraged us to love language, culture, and the great adventure of Life.  She also introduced me to life as a spiritual journey, providing me with tender guidance, open-minded thought, and a deep, abiding connection to all things connected to Creator Spirit...active imagination, dreams, love of the fantasy embedded in the narratives of ancient history and sacred texts. I have always been fascinated with the written word, and the visions, images, and great epics a good piece of writing can awaken in the mind.

As a child, I recall my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Lois Rasmussen, allowing me to bring my favorite book to school. My Mother had read us Mr. Wicker's Window, many times, and I guess I had talked about it. My favorite teacher of all time, Mrs. Rasmussen, let me sit in front of the class on a little wooden chair, and read my favorite parts to the class. On another occasion, my husband, daughter, and I were driving from San Diego north to our home near San Francisco, and I read The Oregon Trail to them the entire way.  Other  favorite books, Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl and Anne Morrow Lindbergh's Gift from the Sea,  and dozens others, have been my companions and guides for many years.

Coupled with my love of reading is my passion for writing. Never without a pen (sometimes hard to find, but nevertheless, in my purse, pocket or clipped somewhere on my body), I cannot seem to think or speak without a pen in my hand. My thoughts flow more easily from a pen or keyboard than they seem to from my mouth.  So this blog is a way for me to connect with you, someone I presume loves reading and writing too, and hopefully, we will share some ideas about what it is that inspires us, touches us, motivates us, and instructs us as we grow in our writing practice. 

My passion for reading runs the gamut of genres; so too does my love of writing.  I'm an indiscriminate write,  writing only that which connects me to a steady stream of ideas that I am chasing.   Or following a dream or mystery that takes me down a path of ideas strewn with turn offs, jogs in the road, and faint trails covered with the debris of past storms.  After a long, complex piece of research and composition, I sit by the trail munching on a piece of fruit and thinking in Haiku or dreaming in Arabic, taking a rest with the music of Chopin or a song about the letter B with the Dixie Chicks.  Love of language, words, ideas, dreams and visions, enable me to breathe in the fullness of life, and that's what I intend to share as we begin this adventure of the Writer's Journey.